I’ve heard and read about several heartbreaking stories lately of people going through terrible things. It breaks my heart to know that people are hurting. I’ve had a lot people contact me lately asking how I dealt with emotional pain and heartbreak and how I battled it, and felt led to share:
1. Get in the Word. Intimacy with the Lord is the only thing that will bring you peace. Praise and worship is taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on God. It will allow you to talk it out and get healing.
2. Cry. Cry a lot. Cry when you want to. Cry when you don’t want to. It will help you, and it’s completely okay. Whether you’ve had miscarriages like I have, lost a family member or a close friend, been through a terrible breakup or divorce, been abused or abandoned- the list could go on – please know it’s okay to cry. Grief is a process. It takes some people longer than others. I’ve said this before, but grief doesn’t care where you are or what time of day it is. It will hit you when it wants.
3. I’ve been asked if the pain ever goes away. No, but it lessens. You will move on. You will get your life back. You will laugh again. Does that mean you’ll forget? No, you won’t. But, you’ll be able to bear it a lot better than before.
4. Recognize that you can’t deal with anything on your own. There’s no way on this earth I would be where I am today without Jesus. I’m not strong enough to deal with emotional pain on my own. I had to ask God to heal me and take that pain and turn it into joy.
5. Forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive God (even though He doesn’t need forgiveness), forgive your spouse for leaving, forgive your parent for abandoning or abusing you as a child, forgive your attacker, etc. Once you can forgive that person, truly, honestly forgive them, you will be surprised with how free you feel. It may take time, but it will come. Please know that God doesn’t sit on His throne wishing bad things on us, but He will use every situation and turn it into good. Forgive Him and let Him heal your heart.
6. Ask God for forgiveness for harboring anger against Him first and foremost and against the situation. The more you’re angry, the more your heart is hardened which will keep you from letting go and moving on.
7. Reach out. If you’re experiencing heartbreak, please know you’re not alone. I don’t mean to sound like a hotline, but it’s true. There are so many hurting people out there that can identify with you if you just open your mouth and reach out. Go to counseling if you need to, talk to your pastor if you want to, call a friend. Just talk about it. Don’t keep things buried inside.
8. Know that pain is temporary. The Bible says in Psalm 30:5, “weeping may stay for the night but rejoicing comes in the morning.” If you’ve forgiven who/what you need to forgive and allowed yourself to move on, you will.
9. Allow yourself to have fun. When I was going through my 2nd miscarriage, I went to a concert. Does that mean I didn’t care what was going on? Absolutely not. I had had the tickets for months, and I knew I needed to have a good time – and I did. It allowed me to get my mind off of what was happening and focus my attention and energy on something positive. Allow yourself to laugh and have a good time.
10. Lastly, fight depression. A lot of times after a heartbreak, our tendency is to crawl in bed and never get out. We want to hide. We want to drink. We want to experience anything but the pain we feel. Don’t allow yourself to go there. Get up everyday and fight. Fight for what’s yours. Fight for your happiness. Don’t let the enemy suppress the joy that’s inside of you. It may be buried under sorrow, but you possess joy.
There are probably a million other ways to cope with heartbreak. These are just a few of the ways that I did. I hope this helps in any way, shape or form. Please know that there are people that have experienced what you are going through that can help you. Jesus loves you more than you can possibly know, and He does have a plan in all of this. You may not see it yet, but you will.
Believe me.
Lavah Ministries 